allowing Chaos

I was at my family cottage - it was not a vacation - it was a time of alot of transition for several members of the family.  I focused on staying in the eye of the hurricane, not going out into the drama(s).  It was a practice, I gave myself alot of permission to slip and slide, fall down and get back up.  A few times I wanted to leave, but as I continued to ride the waves more, undertow less I was able to keep moving and not get stuck.

I made time to get away to the beach.  I watched the waves as they broke onto the beach.  It seemed like the wind was coming from the north, the wave action indicating this.   Yet upon closer observation there was another pattern happening, Waves of a smaller size were breaking coming from the south.  A cris-cross pattern of currents only appreciated if I did not stay fixed on one way of seeing the breaking waves. It was a bit chaotic to hold both in my vision.  Growth is chaotic, destroying the old and creating the new.  Not to try to hold onto a fixed point of view or vision but to acknowledge the all of it, and breathe too.  Letting it all be.  This can feel chaotic.  To give space to this, is a spiritual ability, we get more comfortable with the discomfort, with practice, and knowing this too shall pass.


 Awkward yet effective  endings  and beginnings, to hang in through it, having a higher perspective of a kind parent guiding, encouraging.