Top of the day

Amusement, I just lost this whole post.  That is ok, I can write it again.
Hum.  I was recounting my experience with an ugly monster that has been visiting me for weeks.


It is called fatigue.  I have been loosing my patience with it.  Come on enough of this.  Enough of this! 


I work on not fixing , is acupuncture fixing, or supportive?  I have gone for a few weeks to not much effect.  It is winter, this is ok.  I can be like this, and live.  I can have my fatigue, I am imperfect and I am enough  Yep  Acceptance and I can ask for help!



I am inspired to check for a flower essence.  I have a basket of partially used ones I have saved over the years.  Tansy tests positive  - a yellow flower - with the signature of  issues with fatigue!  it is a soul level issue, where overwhelm as a child was dealt with by dampening down the energy and emotions to survive.   To be healed it needs to be understood on a soul level, not dealt with on the physical energy level.  The essence helps you become aware of this pattern.

In meditation the next morning, i am curious.  I am experiencing the heaviness of the fatigue, and letting it be, welcoming it.   I also look at the overwhlm and chaos in my childhod.  I seemy spriti did not stay present in this, and and another energy came into my body, thick and slow wrapping around all the chaotic energy like a globs of flubber.   I continue to see where this energy is in my 2nd chakra _ the feeling and creativity , 3rd of personal power, energy distribution and up.  Just being aware of this from a space of neutrality - some fear and anger are coming into awareness, At first I think oh I need to express my feelings get the anger out, yet, as I keep watching, I see this is not me, but a helper.  Not so pleased that it is in the spot light.  I am realizing this is an old old helper that was useful when I was little - not now though.

It is an old relationship, like a friend, yet also, an employee and I need to update our agreement.  We do this, and both take a step onward in our respective evolution. 

I have tools now - awareness and the ability to set boundaries - instead of leaving my body and having another energy come in.  Awareness - acceptance - Action.  Yay

Nature abhors a vacuum.  If we are not in our body, some other energy is happy to come in.  This is not to be feared or dissed.  It is part of spiritual growth to own our space., and be in conscious choice.  I like to think of it as we each have amazing real estate that we can continually becoming aware of and learning to claim it, own it as our own, after all it is, yet we were not taught how to take care of it. 


Are you becoming aware of any thing you are needing to transform?

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